Why is it so hard sometimes to just start a thing?
The amount of energy that one invests in not doing is usually many multiples of the motivating power it would take to just get it over with. But we don’t write the rules, even though it is often assumed that we have “chosen” to fail at or delay or give up entirely on the albatross that is the task at hand.
So there you stand for hours, caught between the dragons of anxiety barring progress toward your goal and the ogres of expectation, both of whom will seemingly eat you alive given half a chance. And whoever it is that assigned you the task is bound to be angry or disappointed when you inevitably fall flat on your face. You have that future confrontation to add to the growing list of Dreadful Inevitable Things in your immediate future.
And, no, your friend or client or boss or partner or loved one will probably not understand, no matter how much they may want to. They will become frustrated and think that you have chosen to let them down. And this will keep happening until the people around you lose faith in you and you begin to lose faith in yourself.
But then, maybe one day you’ll forget to be anxious and feel driven and manage to get something done again. Hopefully this goes on for a long time. Sometimes it doesn’t, but if you’re lucky it will.
And once you are getting things done, others will begin to rely on you again. They will have high expectations of you. And this will work out well for a while. Until it doesn’t, because the cycle has started all over again.
And you will think that all of this is your fault, because you’ve been told this so many times. And you will like you are a failure, or a let down, or an intrinsically bad person.
So I am here to say, nope, you’re just a mild mannered human of the anxiety prone variety. And I think you’re fantastic, whether you get the thing done or not.
Maybe today’s the day, babe.