First the bad news…

I spun my car tonight. Avoiding the same sort of traffic scenario that
nearly did me in the first time. Something inside me snapped and I decided
“This car will NOT hit me!” and as it failed to yield and left turned
almost into me I decided to drive around it. And somehow I did even though
it kept coming, except that at that point “going around it” consisted of
ending up spinning sickeningly out of control and facing the wrong
direction in the fast lane on Kolb, but everyone was able to avoid me and
I was able to stop in time and avoid any damage to my car or anyone
else’s. No verdict yet on whether I damaged ME because I discover new
aches and pains hourly, but it may just be initial tension and shock.
Anyway, I faced my demon and lived, right? But for a minute I was sure I
was seconds away from death in the form of twisted metal and broken glass
and the fate once avoided that can never be fully escaped….But the good
news is that 21 year old boys worry enough to call me if I don’t show up
at the bar on a Saturday night which is absolutely touching and sweet in a
way that made me kind of forget I was suppsed to be having a panic attack.
But that’s never going to be as sweet as someone who brings you a
hamburger without asking because they know you really,really need
it…Holy shite, I could’ve been killed or something, couldn’t I? I just
realized. Fuck. But I wasn’t. I’m still here, just a couple of aches and
bruises worse for the wear.