If I told you what my tears taste like

You wouldn’t in a million years believe me

Here I am again

Driving in a wall of sound

Shutting out the world

Before it shuts me out

I can cry and rage and scream, but

Inside I never feel a thing

Like my body’s still alive

and my brain can’t quite reach it

I’ve been so frozen and so distanced for so long

It’s a wonder I can function

It’s a wonder I’m here at all

Sometimes I think I can laugh myself awake

Or that I could be loved into being

If only I were worth it

Why I keep trying is pretty much beyond me

These words are not a work of art

Just the truth

Something with which I have a tenous relationship

I think I’d rather be a monster than a liar anymore

you can’t really suffer when you’re not all there

So what am I afraid of?


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