Anniversaries

Ten years ago I lived in a different city where the default personality of my acquiantances and co-workers was largely incompatible with my own. Today I sit in a bar singing karaoke with strangers more or less accidentally and it seems about right. It’s been a while since I last felt surrounded yet lonely. September 11th ten years ago I felt that times a thousand.

Kare-aoke

 Because I am at heart a nerd beyond your wildest imagination.

Memento Mori

Here’s a link to the story about my father in theTucson Citizen. He would have written a better story, but the state of journalism being what it is…

Schroedinger’s Waiting Room…

My dad passed away thursday afternoon at about 2 o’clock. it was sort of unexpectedly expected. We knew it was a looming possibility but not an immediate or inevitable certainty. It took me by surprise, but not shock. In the car ride on the way over, I didn’t know yet if he had died or if he would live. I couldn’t fully simultaneously contemplate the dual possibilities . So I just drove. I was fairly calm and peace when I heard the news, officially. I sat at the edge of the bed and patted my dad’s foot in its black sock for a while when they let us stay with the body. It felt sort of normal that way. More like a hospital visit and less like a goodbye. I am okay. I am fine right now. I am with my family. When I am done with that I’ll have time to think about how I actually feel. For right now, there is no feeling there is just doing. That is maybe as it should be. Love and peace. Corbid.

the opening and closing of various gates…

…and so another year ends, in sickness and in health…good fortunes to perfectly balance the bad…a year that canceled itself out, more or less…I let it go out quietly, hoping for a louder season, a much much brighter, louder season this next circling of the sun…sometimes we relish the quiet…but may we not go gently this time around…life being for the living and all of that…Happy Janus’ Day…